I HATE SUMMER. There, I said it.
It may not be for the reasons you think, but I hate it nonetheless. Summer in Southern California brings dry-ass heat, creepy reptiles, bugs that belong in horror films, longer lines at every fast-food joint in town, and—let’s not forget—California’s seasonal combo pack of earthquakes and wildfires. Oh, joy!
Let me explain…
🌺 Southern California is a Summer Trap House
Sure, we get all that sunshine—but at what cost? Stepping outside feels like opening an oven door. And the moment the temps hit the 90s, every lizard and possibly a snake in the county decides your patio is their personal runway. I didn’t sign up for a National Geographic special in my backyard.
And don’t get me started on the giant flying bugs or those crunchy beetles that just exist to ruin your vibe. Nature is thriving, and I hate that for me.
🍔 The Crowds, The Lines, The Chaos
It’s like the whole world decided to live in your city for three months. Fast food drive-thrus? A war zone. Target on a weekend? May God be with you.
Let’s be honest: It’s not even Hot Girl Summer. It’s Overheated Introvert in Stretchy Pants Summer, and I want out.
⚡ Earthquakes, Fires, and Existential Dread
While other parts of the country are hitting the beach, we’re busy dodging natural disasters like we’re in a survival video game. Earthquake season and fire season team up like the ultimate summer villains.
Every July, I ask myself: Do I pack an emergency go-bag or just grab my favorite snacks and wing it?
🌊 FOMO With a Side of Guilt
Everyone’s in Europe or floating on an inflatable unicorn in Lake Havasu. Meanwhile, I’m hiding in my living room with blackout curtains, a fan pointed directly at my face, and a growing resentment for Instagram.
Oh, and let’s not forget the guilt. Summer is supposed to be about adventure and memories, right? But if you’re not hiking or day-drinking on a rooftop, it somehow feels like you’re failing at the season.
Meanwhile, you’re hiding inside with blackout curtains, wondering how to politely cancel plans (again), while nursing a weird combo of guilt and relief. Not to mention how overwhelming it is walking the aisles of HomeGoods, Marshalls, and Walmart where you see nothing but swim coverups, cute backyard décor and accessories, and fun lawn games. I for one think “oh those look cute and fun, I should buy this” then I remember “buy them for what? I don’t have BBQ’s, I don’t go to the pool, and I’m still in the process of completing my backyard albatross.”
Why don’t I do any of these things? Because of Anxiety. Social anxiety to be more exact. It is truly a soul sucker.
🌞 The Survival Plan
Despite it all, there are a few things I can tolerate: iced coffee, golden-hour lighting, and blasting the AC like it owes me money.
My strategy this year? Minimal movement, maximum boundaries. Say “no” to all things sweaty, crowded, or fire-adjacent. Say “yes” to shade, snacks, and unapologetic rest.
So, if you’re a fellow summer hater, welcome. You are not alone.
📝 TL;DR:
- “I hate Summer” ☀️
- “It’s hot, crowded, and possibly on fire 🔥
- “Don’t ask me to go hiking” 🥾
- “I’ll see you in the fall-thriving in a hoodie” ✌🏾🍁