Pretending at its finest
Picture it… 2025.
Your phone rings. (Yes, rings. I know, how retro.)
It’s your girlfriend—the one you haven’t talked to in weeks. Here’s how it goes:
Friend: Hey girl! I was thinking about you and wanted to see what you’re up to. How are you?
Us: Hey! I’m fine—just trying to clean up and do some laundry. What about you?
Friend: Oh, I’m good! Just busy planning a weekend getaway. Waiting to hear back on my PTO request.
Us: That sounds fun. Hope it gets approved!
Friend: Me too. Summer’s always hectic. Well, let’s grab lunch soon—catch up!
Us: Sounds good! Let’s touch base next week for sure.
Seems normal, right? Two friends checking in. But if you’re a woman who’s not okay, you can hear the subtext.
They’re both lying.
Your friend called—not texted—because she really needed to vent or ask for help. But when you answered with “I’m fine,” the mask went right back on. Now she feels like unloading her struggles would be dumping on someone who seems to have it together. Spoiler alert: you don’t.
Let’s Break It Down
Friend A is pissed. She’s frustrated that she even has to ask for time off, let alone wait to see if it gets approved. If it gets denied, she’s going to be extra resentful—of work, of bills, of everything. And that weekend getaway? It’s a hope, not a plan.
You (Friend B) said you were doing laundry—but let’s be real. The laundry has been piling up for two weeks. You’re only doing it because you’re out of underwear. The dishes are stacked high, your brain is foggy, and you feel paralyzed by the chaos. So, you do what so many of us do: pretend to be productive instead of admitting you’re overwhelmed.
Sound Familiar?
Why do we do this to ourselves and each other?
Why do we pretend we’re fine when we’re falling apart?
Why do we convince ourselves that being honest is burdening someone, especially our closest friends?
We suffer in silence because we think that’s strength. But it’s not.
It’s time we stop playing pretend.
It’s time we stop saying “I’m fine” when what we really mean is “I’m drowning.”
Let’s start being honest—even if it’s messy.
Let’s normalize saying:
“Girl, I’m not okay. And I don’t want to fake it today.”
You’d be surprised how many women are dying for someone to go first.